Monday, November 17, 2008

I can't believe this is happening again

Beta #2 is not good. We were aiming for 280 and it is only 122. Which means since Thursday it hasn't even doubled. The doctor says its either a lost twin or another miscarriage. Isn't it fucked up that I am desperately hoping its the former?

I go back on Wednesdsay. Though my guess is Wednesday's results will be inconclusive and I will have to go back on Friday. The doctor said I could wait till Friday as that would be more definitive and I said I couldn't wait.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK.

15 comments:

Chelle said...

Don't lose hope. I am still holding out hope. Hang in there. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug. As hard as it is, just try to keep your mind busy and let your body rest a bit. (that's all the assvice I will give).

Thinking of you. ((BIG HUG))

M. said...

I don't think it's wrong to hope -- I'm sitting here hoping for you :)

Meinsideout said...

Oh FU** I hate the beta game. I am still hopeful for you as well - those numbers have been shown to do some really F**ked up things. I am almost tempted that if I get a bfp with IVF#3 to skip betas all together because they can be so crazy and all over the board. There is hope - my last transfer was 2 embryos, first beta at 10dp3dt was 34 and second beta at 12dp3dt was 32 - your writing is definitely NOT on the wall yet - so you are still pregnant until proven otherwise and that number could take off.

Meinsideout said...

Hi L - ((HUGS)) thinkig of you this morning.

nh said...

(((hugs)))
Try to keep that hope alive.

Lea said...

I know this is such a rollercoaster, but don't lose hope. Not yet. I'll be thinking about you. {hugs}

Sasha & Mark said...

I'm so sorry :( Thinking of you and hoping for a miracle.

Little Wonders said...

I'm so sorry, LanY. This waiting/mind game stinks! I go in for my 1st u/s today and I am just sick with nervousness. I so hope your beta today has gone up significantly. Praying for you!

Lea said...

Thinking about you.

Lea said...

Err...guess I said that already! :)

Meinsideout said...

Hey L - just checking in to see if you had another beta...thinking of you.

Chelle said...

Hey there. I am assuming since you haven't posted that things aren't good. (I hope I am wrong)

I hope you are okay. We are in the same boat (which seems to be sinking sometimes).

If you need to talk -
chelle (at) centpave (dot) com

Meinsideout said...

Hi - just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Jill said...

Oh-I'm so sorry. I hope you are okay. ((hugs))

Meinsideout said...

thinking of you