The aftermath...

After Monday all that was left to do was pretty much wait until the miscarriage would start. I had no idea when that would be as the doctors thought it would have already started given my progesterone levels.

I thought I was doing pretty well with everything. I was of course very sad still but no crying. On Wednesday I was catching up with a good friend (who is also a co-worker). She knew a little about our IF though not all the details. She was asking if I had learned any more and I was telling her some stuff but trying not to mention the miscarriage. She then told me that she had some news...she was 14weeks PG. I managed a heart-felt congrats before bursting into tears. I told her what was really going on and she listened while I talked which felt good. I felt terrible though for discussing it with her when she was PG as I didn't want to freak her out.

I realized then that I was still feeling very upset and unsettled about the whole thing. I was constantly wondering when the miscarriage would begin. I just wanted it to happen so that we could put this cycle behind us and move forward. The doctor had originally said we had to take 3 cycles off from trying but I pushed back because with my irregular cycles I sometimes have only 1 or 2 cycles per year!!

Thankfully the next day (Thursday, at 6weeks 2 days), the miscarriage began. I also went in for my fifth beta on Thursday (HCG was 73...slowly decreasing). I definitely felt better to know that my body was taking care of this naturally. If I had had to have medication or a D&C to take care of this, we would have to wait much longer before trying again.

The miscarriage itself was just like a very heavy period with LOTS of clots (sorry about the TMI). I didn't have any pain and pretty mild cramping.

Its now been two days since the bleeding stopped, which means I am just in a waiting period until my next period begins. The doctor agreed that with my cycles, it is ok to start again with my next period so i am thankful for that. It could happen anywhere from 30 days from now to 100+ and I am hoping for closer to 30!!

Emotionally I am doing ok. I think about it every day and can't help thinking about where we would be if I was still PG. But am hoping this gets better with time.